I slept in this morning which was nice from the cold weather that we are experiencing down here in Southwest Florida.  I don’t mind the cold, but we are uncomfortable using our heater due to it needing to be serviced (maintenance) and without the funds, well, here we are.

Last night, I went to the gym and worked out for an hour.  It’s nice to be getting back into a routine.  Also, I went out to Winn-Dixie, and spent way too much as usual, and bought some healthier foods and some snacks that were things I’d like that would help me get to eating a little healthier even when not officially ‘healthy.’  I’ve got to start somewhere, don’t I? 

Now, let’s get back to today.  I had breakfast, spent some time on Sparkpeople, as I have vowed to do for the new year, and dilly-dallied around until it was time to go pick up Joey from his first day at his new school.  (Jeff was out doing his podcast.)  Joey had a great day at his new school and it seemed to be an all around fantastic experience for everyone involved.  He even gave the assistant director a high five and his teacher a hug.  That was totally awesome.  I was psyched.

After picking Joey up from school, Jimmy, Anna, Joey and I went to Burger King (I know, bad for the new year!).  We went there to wait for Jeff to get done with his podcast so the kids played on the new playground for about half an hour while we waited.  We had a great lunch with Jeff once he got there and we got to spend a little time together via the Burger King playground while the kids played a little more after the meal.  LOL! 

I spent some more time on Sparkpeople and learned just how bad my lunch had been!  Oh my!  Later into the evening, I signed the kids up for soccer, went to Sam’s Club and went to the gym again for another hour.  I feel that I had a productive off day even though I didn’t make it to Edison to get my new Connect Card and buy my books for spring classes which start on Monday. 

I am full from my earlier snacking, so I’m skipping dinner tonight.  I’m having a glass of sangria to finish up my bottle.  When I’m done here, I gotta fix up my salad and sandwich to take to work tomorrow for my healthier eating.  I work 6-2 tomorrow and then I am going to head over to school to get my Connect Card and my books for next week’s classes.

I think I may also stop by my doctor’s office to check on getting an appointment so that I can get a Rx for Concerta.  I am awaiting a switch from Vyvanse (for ADD) to Concerta, however, when the Patient Assistance Program came through as approved, it came through as the type of program where I need a written Rx to take to the pharmacy with the PAP card.  Due to new rules at the doctor’s office, I have to have an appointment to even get a Rx.  I tried calling them last week to get advice on whether that had to be the process due to the lack of knowledge that led to being in this situation, but, as expected from doctor’s offices, no one ever called me back even a week later.

Well, I had a good day, all and all.  I plan on having a great rest of the evening getting myself ready for work in the morning.  Then, off to bed I go.  Goodnight!

1.     Go the gym 4-5 days/week.
2.     Eat healthier at least one meal a day, for starters.
3.     Stick with personal training when it starts.
4.     Put more forth in my schooling than this past term.
5.     Stop cutting corners at work.
6.     Get promoted to Store Manager.
7.     Do laundry at least 1 time per week.
8.     Cook at least 1 time per week.
9.     Starting doing SparkPeople again.

So far, I’ve had a rough start, but a good day.  I slept from 6 p.m. until early this morning.  I was then in and out until about 10:30 a.m. this morning.  I decided I wanted to go to Cracker Barrel which made me moody because we didn’t have the money.  Well, we ended up going, but I was irritated because I had to wait on everyone to take a bath or shower, except for myself, of course, because I didn’t take one, as usual.  I ended up getting something different at Cracker Barrel than I originally wanted to get, because my tastes for the day changed after my long wait to even go.  After we went to Cracker Barrel, we went across the interstate to the Kings Hwy Wal-Mart.  I got 3 shirts and a pair of khakis.  The shirts are for regular wear, but the khakis I will also be able to wear to work.

I’ve been thinking and I just told Jeff in the car, I hate how I’m so lazy that I never do anything.  It’s such an extreme that even the motivation of no longer wanting to be that way is enough for me to make such a drastic change.  I’m sure my issues don’t help me in this area, but I doubt they actually cause the laziness.  I used to lean on the issues as a crutch not really realizing it, but I’ve finally decided that I’m just a lazy bum aside from my work.  And, sometimes, I’m even lazy and take shortcuts there.  Despite all of my qualifications for becoming a store manager, my laziness leads me to believe that I couldn’t really do the job to the best of my ability when it really came down to it.  I will keep praying for strength from the Lord, I hope I do at least, so that maybe I can find the strength and courage to change things in my life.  I feel tired all of the time, but I don’t know if it’s in my head because I’m too lazy to do anything else or if my body and mind are really that tired, therefore, not enabling to push my body and mind any further.  I don’t understand and don’t really know. 

I am also terrible about keeping a journal.  I have gotten so terrible about not wanting to write over the years that it’s a serious chore to even write a poem, in my journal, or even a simple card most times.  What is up with me?  Why does everything have to seem so hard?  I thought maybe I would try keeping an electronic journal.  If I could type it, I thought I might be more inclined to do it and it would give me something to do with my time when I’m bored, but too lazy to do anything.  At least I’d be doing something somewhat productive.  As least I could use it as a tool to look back on to learn about myself and maybe change some things in my life.  Also, if I choose to make it a blog or something online, it would also enable others to get to know me better.

I hate how I use Jeff.  He’s truly a godsend the way he understands my issues and dilemmas, but it’s no excuse for the extreme ways I take advantage like NEVER doing dishes, laundry, cleaning or straightening the house.  It’s so lame the way I’ve let myself become.  I’ve always been this way to some degree, but I believe that this is the most extreme and it seems to get more extreme all the time.  Other people look up to me for being married with 3 children yet working full time as an assistant manager and going to school part time.  I even try telling them how they shouldn’t look up to me for it because Jeff does all of the work at home and with the kids, but they always tell me, “Yeah, but you are so busy.  He’s just doing his part.”  However, I know he does even more than his part.  I feel bad when they look up to me for it, because I know how much I take advantage.  I really love him, and don’t understand how I can do this to him.  Am I not afraid I’ll eventually push him to a breaking point where he just can’t put up with it all anymore?  How on Earth does he manage everything he does at home and for the family and still do his writing that he’s been doing for several months now?  Not to mention, he just started, last month, a podcast.  I am very proud of him, but I know he has so much more potential and, if nothing else could do a lot more of his writing if only I did my part.  Or even just some of my part.

I really like the store I am working for, but, unfortunately, it’s still no cure for when I get lazy and cut corners.  I still do those things.  However, I do have fewer opportunities to be that way working for Missy than I did when I was working for Andy.  I feel like she expects a lot out of me, so I automatically do more as a result, but I do feel like she expects more out of me than I do manage to give her.  I wish I had her energy with how she just goes, goes and goes.  I don’t understand how she does it.  I would like to be like that.

I keep typing because I don’t know what I’m going to do with my time when I am done with this.  I’ll probably just decide I’m bored and go lay down like always.

I need to get back in a routine going to the gym.  Once out of a routine, it is difficult to start back though.  Once either my school money comes in during early February or when our tax return comes in, I plan on buying a one year program with the personal trainers for twice a month.  They’ll make me see that I can do it.  I can’t wait for that.  It is no excuse to not go now though.  That will be my goal for today: to go to the gym for an hour and to take a shower tonight.

Tomorrow I plan on going to my school to get my Connect Card and get my books for my upcoming classes.

During my “bored” times, I have been doing some Kindle reading on my phone, but, of course, I read laying in bed, so I often fall asleep doing it.

I have to say I am certainly proud of myself right this moment.  One of the neighborhood kids, Andrea, pushed Anna off her bike and took it away from her when she was trying to ride her bike in the neighborhood.  I took control and went and spoke with her grandmother.  I hope it actually does some good, but who knows with the types of parents seem to be around these days where they just kick their kids out of the house in the morning (or afternoon during the school year) and have them play outside until the day is done.  What kind of parents do that?